I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
