Ambien. No doubt about it.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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