I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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