if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
