Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
