Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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