I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.