It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.