Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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