Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
