sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
