So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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