Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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