the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We're too hungover to prance.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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