I bet he comes in French.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize