No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
