You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
