yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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