I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Quick, to the slutcave!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
