i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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