I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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