One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
