Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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