I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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