Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
