have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
