I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
