I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize