I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
