I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
