How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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