I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
