Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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