I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
