That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
