The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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