Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
