cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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