he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
