After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My breasts were aching with rage.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
