I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
