I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
