He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
