I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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