Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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