god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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