it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
