Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
