something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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