I just made out with a guy for $7.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
