i barfeds in our rink
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
