when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
as a side note pls kill me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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