I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
