im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
