Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
